Hello! Today is my wife Sarah’s birthday. Sarah tells me that it’s also Einstein’s birthday, Billy Crystal’s birthday, and Pi Day (because the date in the US is 3.14…tenuous but cute). In the UK, where we do the date with the month second, it’s Mother’s Day.
Readers of Issue 1 of Adventures in Menstruating (which is now long out of print – sorry) may remember the intro where I mentioned I might one day do the ‘ultimate sci-fi and regenerate or spawn an army of likenesses from one cell of my own DNA, not unlike the Daleks on Doctor Who.’
That’s still in the future, but, for now, if you’re a funny genius mum, or if you’re pregnant and your circumference is expanding proportionately to your diameter, or you’re an awesome performance poet birthday girl (or are somewhere in the Venn of all of the above), hope you had a great day.
Lindsay Keith at THE [multimedia] REFINERY sent me a link to her short comedy animation exploring the wonderful world of menstrual euphemisms. She’s got some other related stuff in the pipeline (is pipeline another euphemism?), so watch this space!
Yeastwoman, as reported by The Onion.
So I read the Guardian a lot, as you may have noticed. But today, The Onion (My other reliable daily news source. For balance.) posted this and I really dig it. It gets a second place award for being in on the joke with tampon product testing and for going with ‘speculum exoskeleton’ as a legitimate villain-experiment-disfigurement. Also, Yeastwoman uses her powers for good. I recommend writing her a sidekick about 30 comics or so into the series…
…oh, come on, you know Yeastwoman’s name needs ‘…and Thrush!’ after it to create a proper crime-fighting duo. And it’s not like she’s not happy to make friends. According to the article in The Onion, Yeastwoman has already allied herself with Urinary Tract Infection Girl, so I may encourage our menstrual superhero, Over Flo, to get in touch.
Our friend Hannah came round last night (she contributed a comic to Adventures in Menstruating #4) and told me about something she’d like to contribute to the next issue: Choose Your Own Adventure in Menstruating. Now I’m all over ’80s pop culture references and children’s books, so I’m as happy as…Larry Appleton. While we wait to see what form Hannah’s parody of Choose Your Own Adventure books will take, here’s a cover I found online that could qualify for ‘Not Menstrual But Should Be’.
My main question, though, is:
Why is UFO 54-40 shaped like an applicator tampon?
Now my brain’s constructing an alien menstruation ritual involving the dance of the spider holding the cat toy and those three gold coins. Maybe it’s a subliminal comment by the artist on the cost of feminine hygiene.
Upon further inspection, it turns out this particular book gets a mention on the wikipedia page:
One book, Inside UFO 54-40, revolved around the search for a paradise that no one can actively reach; one of the pages in the book describes the player finding the paradise and living happily ever after, although none of the choices in the book led to that page. The ending could only be found by disregarding the rules and going through the book at random. Upon finding the ending, the reader is congratulated for realizing how to find paradise.
Wow. Who knew? I really did pick this cover at random from a search because of the inexplicable giant tampon. But now it feels kinda like a metaphor for what we’re doing here with this whole menstrual malarkey – breaking a few rules and being a bit random to live happily ever after.
Anyway, I’ll stop killing time and wait for Hannah’s more highbrow (or at least less unintelligibly spontaneous) contribution. But Tampon Crafts oughta get in on some sci-fi stylings. Just sayin’.